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  • Writer's picturelifeanditslemons

Two steps forward and five steps backward. (Part 1)

Have you ever had a loss of appetite? Have you ever just smiled at the air? Felt shivers up your spine? Checked your phone a thousand times in a day to make sure you don't miss his or her call? Checked their 'last seen' on WhatsApp to wonder why they are not texting you? Ever been so restless that you couldn't sleep? You set alarms to wake them and then go back to sleep? Ever played love songs on loop? Ever pictured the wedding, what kind of a house you would live in? Discussed baby names with them?


.....Yes, that is your two steps forward. 


Ever been in a place in life where the moment you're rejoicing about something, the next moment you're weeping your life out?


Love, its also a sign of pain. Love can never be just about happiness. Love has its ups and downs. Sometimes, the minute it has an 'up', it is followed with a 'down'. Depressing, isn't it?


People always talk about the honeymoon period; the absolutely high on love, adrenaline rushing, butterflies in the stomach period. What I question is why is it a 'period', why is it time bound? Why can't two people in love have hair raising moments all through life? Why does one change? Why does one take the other for granted? Where are the letters, the emails? Why do birthdays and anniversaries not matter anymore? Why do you not want to talk for hours anymore? Why do you not want to make time between busy schedules anymore? 


I have been here. I have been in these situations. I have been taken for granted, been disrespected, felt unloved and un-valued. I have experienced the peak of love, only to fall. My mental health has been beaten, bruised and battered only to think that these wounds would never heal. But what I realise with time is that wounds heal, it's the scars that don't. 


You somehow manage to wake up, still feeling the pain from your wounds, but as days go by, you deal with the pain, you accept the pain as a part of you, you don't expect it to heal cos you're not looking to be wounded in the same place again. You apply the medicine to close the open flesh, you don't realise when the pain is fading, or when the wound is healing, and finally when it is all healed and dried up, there's a scar that doesn't hurt, but evertime you look at it, it reminds you of the pain you went through when you fell. 


.....and that is your five steps backward. 





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8 Comments


meevil.grshma
Mar 26, 2020

Am just like any other normal person. Been through and still fighting all the demons in my way. The best part is that , the ‘Never give-up ‘ attitude , just moving alone is dreadful. But I know I will make it ,one day, for sure . Well done V

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lifeanditslemons
lifeanditslemons
Jan 20, 2023
Replying to

A bit late to reply, nevertheless I wanted to. You’ll definitely make it, if you haven’t already. wheh you think youve found your destination, it sometimes pushes you to go further, travel a little longer, only to find a much more gorgeous destination. I hope you find yours. I’m sure you will. Lots of love.

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jaymitha
Mar 25, 2020

Reading this, and reading the comments I feel life is so beautiful. I have been there. Those were bad days that left me restless and sleepless. Most important it blinded my thoughts. But I am thankful for those days for it showed me who I am and what I really like and what I deserve. That realization is the most important thing in life. Then everything that we deserve comes to us.

Evolving through pain helps us understand true happiness and value true people.

Love you Divya. I’m your fan!!

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lifeanditslemons
lifeanditslemons
Jan 20, 2023
Replying to

Absolutely true. The pain makes us stronger, and most times wiser and sharper. and life has a way of panning out eventually. There’s a rainbow at the end of a storm :) you just have to wait for it. Lots of love.

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gautham.menon74
Mar 25, 2020

This coming from someone who's gone through all of this and come out with hope and found herself a wonderful partner is truly an inspiration for many.

Very well written Simple and Relatable and hits your heart where it's supposed to hit you.

Thank you and I hope this is the beginning of many more to come :)

Love and Very high regards,

Menon

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lifeanditslemons
lifeanditslemons
Jan 20, 2023
Replying to

Thank you so much Gautham :) I hope you always have happiness, love and success

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vijayyesudas23
Mar 25, 2020

This is Soooo Amazingly Beautiful

I’ve been there, Mostly at the wrong end Mayb, sadly.

But I’ve learnt to accept my mistakes and learn and at times at the receiving end too

And it does hurt even today.

It’s soothing and yet painful to read what you’ve written.

But ThankYou for writing it.

Love You😍😘

V

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rajiv68
Mar 25, 2020

Life isn’t all rosy, it’s hard work, sometimes every aspect of it. however it’s the tough times that more often than nought get highlighted bcoz they take over our lives entirely, test our very being, and if we ever make it to the other side of it, we come out a different person, good or bad being relative. Some turn out stronger, weaker, confident, insecure, we have no control over the change it brings as much as would like to believe, we do.

Well penned , most of us aren’t the people we were yesterday and won’t be the same person tom, we are a sum of our experiences, and as rightly concluded, scars fade, but shall remind you of…

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